What To Do When It Hurts

The blog that this particular article is found on ("Finding your marbles: A mental health survival guide") appears to already be a well traveled and well commented blog, but this article on "what to do when it hurts" is very good, and I felt it deserved an extra "digg." Definitely worth reading! Click and read on for yourself. "Selah"...
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Song of the Week: Freedom to Feel

Freedom to Feel, by John Reuben
http://www.myspace.com/johnreuben

"Step away
Keep your distance
I can't be what you want me to be.
But right now there are things inside I don't want you to see
So take your personal spotlight
Shine it on someone else for a while
I can't force a happy face or makeshift you a smile.
I can't deny what I see, what I feel or what's in front of me
So take your world of precious moments of make-believe
They never made me believe in anything
But left me with nothing to hold on to.
Your quick fix and magic tricks can only disguise what I was going through
And now I'm thinkin' it was when it wasn't
And now I'm tryin' to rationalize what just doesn't
Come together and somehow doesn't make sense
But God, how can I convince them when I'm not even convinced?

Everyone is thinkin' it, but nobody's sayin' it
Everyone's sayin' it, but nobody's feeling it
Everyone's feeling it, but nobody's seein' it
So how am I supposed to know what's real?

False sense of happiness
My security wrapped up in this
These control freaks seek out who they can brainwash and make activists.
They'd rather have me lie than bring my failure to the light
Keep your secrets to yourself
It's not about you but them lookin' right.
No time to be ugly
Don't trouble them with your doubt and fears
Shout for joy little boys and girls
You brokenness ain't welcome here.
Well excuse me while I bleed through and my life becomes see-through
Don't ask for transparency but reject what you seein' too.

Everyone is thinkin' it, but nobody's sayin' it
Everyone is sayin' it, but nobody's feelin' it
Everyone is feelin' it, but nobody is seein' it
So tell me, how am I supposed to know what's real?

Everyone is thinkin' it
Everyone is feelin' it
But nobody is seeing it
And how
Am I supposed to feel?
How am I supposed to know what's real?

So please
Can somebody tell me how am I supposed to know what's real
When I was told and controlled how to feel?
You tell me now, how am I supposed to know what's real
When I was told and controlled how to feel?
Jesus, please tell me
How are they gonna know you're real
When we're told and controlled how to feel?
Jesus, tell me please
How are they gonna know you're real
When they're controlled and told how to feel?
You tell me
How am I supposed to know what's real
When I was told and controlled how to feel?
You tell me please, God
How are they gonna know that you're real
When they're told and controlled how to feel?
You tell me please
How am I supposed to know what's real?
How are they supposed to know what's real?
How are you and I supposed to know?

Freedom to feel

How am I supposed to feel?
How am I supposed to know what's real?"

The above lyrics are the property of the respective authors, artists and labels, the lyrics are provided for educational purposes only. If you like the song, please buy relative CD to support the artist.



selah

music therapy

Mental Health Tip of the Week: What am I willing to give up?

Recently we discussed personal power. Personal power is demonstrated by the willingness to let go of personal choices that have been interfering with your ability to meet your needs. What are you willing to let go of in order to gain personal power and satisfy your needs?

Are you willing to let go of the following in order to meet your need for self-esteem?

• Wanting or demanding that others approve of you
• Wanting to be perfect
• Having to win
• Minimizing the importance of your feelings and opinions
• Disliking yourself

Are you willing to let go of the following in order to meet your need for understanding?

• Wanting to be right
• A lack of interest in any other person's point of view
• Ignoring the facts in forming your opinions
• Making hasty judgments about the behavior of others
• Believing others are out to get you

Are you willing to let go of the following in order to meet your need for emotional security?

• Fearing others
• Fearing the opinions of others
• Continually disregarding your rights in favor of the rights of others (occasionally this is necessary on everyone's part, the issue is when it is continually)
• Believing your personal value is determined by the opinions of others
• Destructive communication skills

Are you willing to let go of the following in order to meet your need for self-control and self-knowledge?

• An aversion to being alone
• An aversion to examining personal thoughts and feelings
• A reluctance to accept ownership of personal choices
• A hesitancy to determine needs
• Rushing to anger

Are you willing to let go of the following in order to be at peace with yourself?

• Unforgiveness-the inability to let things go
• Promising things that you cannot be sure of delivering
• Attempting to control the personal choices of others
• Accepting responsibility for the personal choices of others
• Fighting facts and hating change.

We all can prevent out own needs from being met when we (by our actions) refuse to make room for their fulfillment. Continuing to engage in behaviors that have failed to bring us success in the past will limit our opportunities to see success in our present and our future.

This excellent learning material is adapted from the book entitled "Understanding Anger" by B. Ileen Seeley, M.A.
mental health

Song of the Week: HERO

HERO
By: Superchick
http://www.myspace.com/superchick

No one sits with him, he doesn't fit in,
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him,
'Cause you want to belong, do you go along?
'Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong
It’s not like you hate him or want him to die,
But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide,
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side,
Any kindness from you might have saved his life...

TAG: Heroes are made when you make a choice...
CHORUS:
You could be a hero,
Heroes do what's right,
You could be a hero,
You might save a life,
You could be a hero, you could join the fight,
For what’s right, for what’s right, for what’s right...

No one talks to her, she feels so alone,
She's in too much pain to survive on her own,
The hurt she can't handle overflows to a knife,
She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life,
Each day she goes on is a day that she's brave,
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way,
Each moment of courage her own life she see's,
When she throws the pills out a hero is made...

TAG/CHORUS

No one talks to him about how he lives,
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his,
Doesn't know he's a leader with the way he behaves,
And others will follow the choices he's made,
He lives on the edge, he's old enough to decide,
His brother who wants to be him is just nine,
He can do what he wants because it's his right,
The choices he makes change a nine-year-old's life...

TAG/CHORUS

You could be a hero - (Our time is now) heroes do what's right
You could be a hero - (Our time is now) you might save a life
You could be a hero - (Our time is now) you could join the fight
For what's right.

The above lyrics are the property of the respective authors, artists and labels, the lyrics are provided for educational purposes only. If you like the song, please buy relative CD to support the artist.

selah

music therapy

Mental Health Tip of the Week: Empowerment

"Everything you need to know about life in one package"... funny! And for many it has been their truth. But personal power--being empowered--is much less about what others do or say regarding our lives, and more about what we choose to act upon for, and enact in, our lives.
There are basically two types of power an individual can have: power _over_ and _personal_ power. To have power over is to control others through manipulation, bribes, and threats. This may be an effective source of power but it has its limits. Trying to have power over is exhausting work because it requires constant vigilance and planning.
By notable contrast, personal power is the ability to take charge of yourself! It is the authority of your thoughts to determine how you feel about what you do. It is the mechanism that enables you to take care of your own needs, and defend against threats to your sense of self.
Personal power does not rely on other people and things for satisfaction or safety. It is free from environmental control. Personal power is inner strength! Self knowledge and self control are necessary components of personal power. You need to be aware of your needs, your rights, and your responsibilities as well as the limits of your control. Personal power is an inside job built on knowing that personal choices (thoughts, feelings, and behaviors) are totally under your control!

Your personal choices are responsible for your happiness.

Achieving and maintaining personal power is a great deal less frustrating than attempts to gain power OVER another. With personal power there is no need to seek happiness in futile and fruitless attempts to manipulate, bribe and threaten others. Personal power seeks only to control the things it can.
Personal power raises self-esteem and enhances emotional security by increasing levels of trust (trust in self and trust in others). Gaining control over your thoughts, feelings and behaviors provides confidence in your ability to take care of your own needs. Personal power is "guaranteed power" because it is based solely upon your relationship with yourself. The only thing it depends on is your own integrity.
People who demonstrate personal power:

• Are aware of and accept responsibility for their personal choices.
• Are aware of and accept limits on what they can control.
• Reject responsibility for the choices of others.
• Are willing to change unprofitable personal choices.
• Understand that a change in thoughts creates a change in feelings and behaviors (thoughts are a source for change!)
• Are capable of behaving assertively (while not stepping on others)
• Do not feel the need to defend or justify who they are or what they do.

Are you ready to discover the peace of mind that comes from accepting limits on your power to control? Begin by earning your own self respect by accepting the fact that you may not be able to control a situation, but you can control yourself IN the situation. And in the process of discovering and learning these important truths find that you are truly an empowered individual.

This excellent learning material is adapted from the book entitled "Understanding Anger" by B. Ileen Seeley, M.A.
mental health

Song of the Week: Blessing in Disguise

Blessing In Disguise

In the deep of the dark you fell in as the heart
of your world went down in flames.
to a cauldron of pain. Seeing no way out.
And as you walked through the fire, losing even desire,
it was like a dying swan to look at you then. But look at you now.

You have found a new lease on life.
A stronger step and a curious calm on your face, that you wear as if to say...

You can rise from the ashes again.
You can rise to the morning that breaks in your eyes.
For what looked like your heart's demise,
has turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

It has worked for the good, like you heard that it could.
But it was hard, so hard to believe
standing among the ruins of a dream.
But from here looking back, you can see clearly that
you can gain from things that you lose, and learn many ways by many means.

You have been an inspiration to me.
And all the volumes of hope your revival can speak will always say to me...

You can rise from the ashes again.
You can rise to the morning that breaks in your eyes.
For what looked like your heart's demise,
has turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

...It's turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Album: Along the Road
Artist: Ashton, Becker, Dente

The above lyrics are the property of the respective authors, artists and labels, the lyrics are provided for educational purposes only. If you like the song, please buy relative CD to support the artist.

selah

music therapy