Calculating your worth

In this world of crumbling financial markets, rising unemployment and uncertainty how does one calculate their worth? Well, the "calculations" start pretty young in our lives. Conditions of worth are placed upon us by family, friends, school, church, etc.
What are conditions of worth? They are pretty much like what they sound like--conditions that must be met in order for us to be loved or accepted ("worthy") by a certain person or group of people. What about expectations? Don't we all need to be able to live up to certain basic standards in this world? Yes. That is something very different.
Expectations of being are not the same as conditions of worth. An expectation of being could be a dress code, honoring traffic laws, fulfilling job requirements, etc. Expectations of being are more about behavior and things we all need to do in order to be good citizens, good students (Setting expectations for a student to do their personal best is much different than being disappointed in your student if they do not maintain "straight 'A's'."), good family members, good employees.
Conditions of worth go deeper than that and take things to an unrealistic level. What do conditions of worth look like? I imagine that anyone out there reading this could offer a list of some conditions of worth that were placed on them growing up, as a teen, even continuing on into adult life. How about only being loved or accepted if you maintain a certain weight, hair length, wear certain type clothes or shoes, make a certain amount of money, drive a certain type of car, maintain a certain standing in the company? Does any of that sound familiar in your life? If it does then you have been experiencing being accepted or loved or judged by conditions of worth. These are damaging to our sense of self-worth and identity... often leaving individuals feeling "less than."
How do you calculate your worth? Or the worth of those in your life? Here are some thoughts on a deeper source of worth... the experience of being loved unconditionally either by another person or by your Higher Power really is like no other in this life!

This song below touches quite effectively on this theme of conditions of worth:

"Is it any wonder

That she would feel less than real

When she reveals what is clearer

In her mirror

Take a look around her

Magazines, glamor queens

Waist-line dreams in her diary

So inspiring

Nobody told her that little girls

Don't have to have the softest curls for love

So whatever's left inside her

Is gonna smile wider, shine brighter

Until she gets pulled under

Is it any wonder?

Is it any wonder

That he's obsessed with what is best

And nothing less... he's a hero

With six zeros

Take a look around him

His wallet size and what he drives

Will symbolize how he's made it

How they'll grade it

Nobody told him that little boys

Don't have to have the fastest toys to win

So whatever's left inside him

Is gonna keep on tryin' to keep on buyin'

Until he gets pulled under

Is it any wonder?

Will somebody tell her there's a

love that can't be glamorized

Tell him there's a hope that won't be downsized

Someone tell them that the billboards lie

All the time

'Cause whatever's left inside her

Is gonna smile wider

And whatever's left inside him

Is gonna keep on tryin'

Until they get pulled under

Is it any wonder?"

Nichole Nordeman - Is It Any Wonder

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