Mental Health Tip of the Week: What am I willing to give up?

Recently we discussed personal power. Personal power is demonstrated by the willingness to let go of personal choices that have been interfering with your ability to meet your needs. What are you willing to let go of in order to gain personal power and satisfy your needs?

Are you willing to let go of the following in order to meet your need for self-esteem?

• Wanting or demanding that others approve of you
• Wanting to be perfect
• Having to win
• Minimizing the importance of your feelings and opinions
• Disliking yourself

Are you willing to let go of the following in order to meet your need for understanding?

• Wanting to be right
• A lack of interest in any other person's point of view
• Ignoring the facts in forming your opinions
• Making hasty judgments about the behavior of others
• Believing others are out to get you

Are you willing to let go of the following in order to meet your need for emotional security?

• Fearing others
• Fearing the opinions of others
• Continually disregarding your rights in favor of the rights of others (occasionally this is necessary on everyone's part, the issue is when it is continually)
• Believing your personal value is determined by the opinions of others
• Destructive communication skills

Are you willing to let go of the following in order to meet your need for self-control and self-knowledge?

• An aversion to being alone
• An aversion to examining personal thoughts and feelings
• A reluctance to accept ownership of personal choices
• A hesitancy to determine needs
• Rushing to anger

Are you willing to let go of the following in order to be at peace with yourself?

• Unforgiveness-the inability to let things go
• Promising things that you cannot be sure of delivering
• Attempting to control the personal choices of others
• Accepting responsibility for the personal choices of others
• Fighting facts and hating change.

We all can prevent out own needs from being met when we (by our actions) refuse to make room for their fulfillment. Continuing to engage in behaviors that have failed to bring us success in the past will limit our opportunities to see success in our present and our future.

This excellent learning material is adapted from the book entitled "Understanding Anger" by B. Ileen Seeley, M.A.
mental health