It's Not OK

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where every fiber of your being knows that what is happening to you is not OK, and that you are not alright? I'd venture to say most of us have. Sometimes the best thing I can say to another is: no, that is not OK and no, you are not insane.

"I'm Not Alright"

"If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of
Then 'cool' is just how far we have to fall...
I am not immune, I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall.

Can I lose my need impress?
If you want the truth I need to confess

I'm not alright, I'm broken inside
And all I go through, it leads me to you

Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness

Until everything I hide behind is gone
And when I'm open wide with nothing left to cling to
Only you are there to lead me on.

Honestly, I'm not that strong."

(Sanctus Real)

mental health

Infidelity Sucks!

In my line of work, I hear so many stories. And in the songs I listen to I hear so many stories. This song below may not exactly be "telling" the story" that I can "hear" in it... but the song comes at a time when I have heard from so many broken people, broken relationships, lost trust and hope that it seems to "fit." It can be difficult to convey to people that sometimes "the hardest thing and the right thing are the same thing." A less poetic way to say it all might be: "infidelity sucks!" What would it take for any of us "all at once" to have the epiphany we needed to make sure that we chose the "right thing"? The question is the easy part... the answer is the hard part!

"There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come...

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you had her maybe you lost her to another
To another."

The above lyrics "All At Once" by the Fray, are the property of the respective authors, artists and labels, the lyrics are provided for educational purposes only. If you like the song, please buy relative CD to support the artist.


selah

music therapy

Mental Health Tip of the Week: Empowerment

"Everything you need to know about life in one package"... funny! And for many it has been their truth. But personal power--being empowered--is much less about what others do or say regarding our lives, and more about what we choose to act upon for, and enact in, our lives.
There are basically two types of power an individual can have: power _over_ and _personal_ power. To have power over is to control others through manipulation, bribes, and threats. This may be an effective source of power but it has its limits. Trying to have power over is exhausting work because it requires constant vigilance and planning.
By notable contrast, personal power is the ability to take charge of yourself! It is the authority of your thoughts to determine how you feel about what you do. It is the mechanism that enables you to take care of your own needs, and defend against threats to your sense of self.
Personal power does not rely on other people and things for satisfaction or safety. It is free from environmental control. Personal power is inner strength! Self knowledge and self control are necessary components of personal power. You need to be aware of your needs, your rights, and your responsibilities as well as the limits of your control. Personal power is an inside job built on knowing that personal choices (thoughts, feelings, and behaviors) are totally under your control!

Your personal choices are responsible for your happiness.

Achieving and maintaining personal power is a great deal less frustrating than attempts to gain power OVER another. With personal power there is no need to seek happiness in futile and fruitless attempts to manipulate, bribe and threaten others. Personal power seeks only to control the things it can.
Personal power raises self-esteem and enhances emotional security by increasing levels of trust (trust in self and trust in others). Gaining control over your thoughts, feelings and behaviors provides confidence in your ability to take care of your own needs. Personal power is "guaranteed power" because it is based solely upon your relationship with yourself. The only thing it depends on is your own integrity.
People who demonstrate personal power:

• Are aware of and accept responsibility for their personal choices.
• Are aware of and accept limits on what they can control.
• Reject responsibility for the choices of others.
• Are willing to change unprofitable personal choices.
• Understand that a change in thoughts creates a change in feelings and behaviors (thoughts are a source for change!)
• Are capable of behaving assertively (while not stepping on others)
• Do not feel the need to defend or justify who they are or what they do.

Are you ready to discover the peace of mind that comes from accepting limits on your power to control? Begin by earning your own self respect by accepting the fact that you may not be able to control a situation, but you can control yourself IN the situation. And in the process of discovering and learning these important truths find that you are truly an empowered individual.

This excellent learning material is adapted from the book entitled "Understanding Anger" by B. Ileen Seeley, M.A.
mental health

Mental Health Tip of the Week: Self-empowerment

• When you look outside yourself for self-definition and self-worth, you are giving your power away and setting yourself up to be a victim. Society has trained you to be victim. You have been taught to give your power away.
• As just one small example of how pervasively you were trained to be a victim, consider how often you have said, or heard someone say, "I have to go to work tomorrow." When a person says "I have to" they are making a victim statement. To say, "I have to get up, and I have to go to work," is a lie. No one forces an adult to get up and go to work. The truth is "I choose to get up and I choose to go to work today, because I choose to not have the consequences of not working."
• To say "I choose" is not only the truth, it is empowering and acknowledges an act of self-love. When we "have to" do something we feel like a victim. And because we feel victimized, we will then be angry, and want to punish whomever we see as forcing us do something we do not want to do.
• We always have a choice. The choice may sometimes seem to be awful - but in reality, allowing ourselves to buy into the illusion that we are trapped will have far worse consequences in the long run.
  
  mental health