The mysteries of change and pain

It seems to me that one roadblock that stands in the way of change is the tendency for people, myself included, to deny or numb the pain we feel about our situation. I’m sure, of course, there are certain types of pain where this strategy is perfectly justified. But what happens when we deny the pain related to something such as our life, history, vocation? Here are a few things that seem to be common to the experience:

• We forget how to dream
• We forget our true capabilities and skills
• We become unhappy (both consciously and unconsciously)
• We turn to forms of escapism

So how should a person deal with this pain? One suggestion is to recognize and feel the pain. It will be uncomfortable and it could hurt a great deal, but you will at least know you are alive instead of being a zombie or on autopilot. And in fact, I have learned to acknowledge that in some ways, pain is my friend. Not in a sadomasochistic way, but in the sense that pain can provide me with information. Information that may be useful on my journey toward change and growth.

It was been discovered that it is often in these moments of pain that we can begin to be willing to open the door to change. When we are honest with ourselves about the problem, we give ourselves the opportunity to fix it. And not only that, we can tap into an incredible source of motivation.

More at this link... http://www.thechangeblog.com/feel-the-pain/

"We change when the pain to change is less than the pain to remain as we are." (Ed Foreman)

Song of the Week: "Hide"...

"Hide"... by Joy Williams, www.myspace.com/joywilliamsmusic

"To anyone who hides behind a smile
To anyone who holds their pain inside
To anyone who thinks they’re not good enough
To anyone who feels unworthy of love
To anyone who ever closed the door
Closed their eyes and locked themselves away...

You don’t have to hide
You don’t have to hide anymore
You don’t have to face this on your own
You don’t have to hide anymore.

So come out, come out
Come out wherever you are
Anyone who’s trying to cover up their scars
To anyone who’s ever made a big mistake
We’ve all been there so don’t be ashamed
So come out, come out and join the rest of us
You’ve been alone for way too long!

And if you feel like no one understands
Come to the one with scars on His hands
Cause He knows where you are and where you’ve been
His scars will heal you if you let Him.

You don’t have to…
You don’t have to hide
Come out, come out wherever you are
You don’t have to hide
Come out, come out
Come out wherever you are
You don’t have to hide
You don’t have to…"

(lyrics © by the artist & used for educational purposes only)

selah

Some Proven Stress Reducers:

Mental Health Tip(s) of the Week: Please comment and suggest any other good ones you may utilize!

• Get enough sleep. If necessary, use an alarm clock to remind you to go to bed.
• Get up fifteen minutes earlier in the morning. The inevitable morning mishaps will be less stressful.
• Allow 15 minutes of extra time to get to appointments.
• Prepare for the morning the evening before. Set the breakfast table, make lunches, put out the clothes you plan to wear, etc.
• Don't rely on your memory. Write down appointment times, when to pick up the laundry, when library books are due, etc.
• Don't forget to take a lunch break. Try to get away from your desk or work area in body and mind, even if it's just for 15 or 20 minutes.
• Make duplicates of all keys. Place a house key in a secret spot and carry a duplicate car key in your wallet, apart from your key ring.
• Procrastination is stressful. Whatever you want to do tomorrow, do today; whatever you want to do today, do it now.
• Plan ahead. Don't let the gas tank get below one-quarter full; keep a well-stocked "emergency shelf" of home staples; don't wait until you're down to your last postage stamp to buy more; etc.
• Get up and stretch periodically if your job requires that you sit for extended periods.
• Say "No!" Saying "no" to extra projects, social activities, and invitations you know you don't have the time or energy for takes practice, self-respect, and a belief that everyone, everyday, needs quiet time to relax and be alone.
• Unplug your phone. Want to take a long bath, meditate, sleep, or read without interruption? Drum up the courage to temporarily disconnect (the possibility of there being a terrible emergency in the next hour or so is almost zero). Or use an answering machine.
• Turn "needs" into preferences. Our basic physical needs translate into food, water, and keeping warm. Everything else is a preference. Don't get attached to preferences.
• Become more flexible. Some things are worth not doing perfectly and some issues are fine to compromise upon.
• Create order out of chaos. Organize your home and workspace so that you always know exactly where things are. Put things away where they belong and you won't have to go through the stress of losing things.
• When feeling stressed, most people tend to breathe short, shallow breaths. When you breathe like this, stale air is not expelled, and muscle tension frequently results. Check your breathing throughout the day, and before, during, and after high-pressure situations. If you find your stomach muscles knotted and your breathing is shallow, relax all your muscles and take several deep, slow breaths.
• Learn to live one day at a time.
• Every day, do something you really enjoy.
• Add a little love to everything you do.
• Do something for somebody else.
• Focus on understanding rather than on being understood; on loving rather than on being loved.

stress reduction